An ongoing evolutionary collaborative free-range Atkin's friendly, wardrobe malfunction-free, literary blog. Tastes like chicken, smells like pennies, thinks like Sloths. Hand me your cash, we need an editor.
The Metro Gnome
Steve: As they chortled in their musings, a fairy descended from the heavens. She barked..
Shirl: in a hacking manner, "I need some fairy dust to put on my pancakes to lighten them"....
Steve: whereupon a slightly larger member of the mythological family, namely a gnome named "Herb" approached from behind a nearby shrub. He farted loudly. Then...
Shirl: asked if he could partake in the "Feast of Pancakes", to which the fairy replied...
Steve: "Only if I can partake of them with you, provided that is, if you could slather my stack with your legendary gnome sauce," she replied coyly. The fairy batted her eyelashes.
Shirl: Herb literally "stepped up to the plate" with that request, and proceeded to dip the nozzle of his gnome sauce onto the stacks of pancakes.
Steve: A shriek erupted from the gathering crowd. "GNOME SAUCE!! GNOME SAUCE!!" Not since the day before yesterday had such an eruption been chronicled. Then, from beyond the horizon there appeared...
Shirl: a hot air balloon filled with more gnomes all drinking and partying and throwing down their empties. Fairies dodged their descent from above, while getting their sticky fairy fingers on....
Steve: a note. One of the fairies looked in astonishment at a note that became adhered to her finger. "It is from the Lord Malcolm!" she cried. "The Lord Malcolm Himself!" All the fairies gathered 'round to hear and see the details of the note which had fallen from above.
Shirl: It read: "There will be a townhall meeting tomorrow evening for all fairies and gnomes to discuss the upcoming 3 legged race. Please provide pancakes for the kingdom and make mine waffles". Signed The Lord Malcolm.
Steve: So the townsfolk all gathered to the town hall for the upcoming three-legged race. Fairies with two legs apiece, and gnomes with only one, centered squarely, would make this an interesting event.
Shirl: one little fairy who had had an accident a few years before in which she lost her leg to an alligator, stood up and asked Lord Malcolm how it was that she would be able to race with one leg, and a gnome with one leg, only adding up to two legs in total, to which Lord Malcolm replied.....
Steve: "Oh just walk it off! In my day, we didn't whine about our so-called disabilities! Now get out there and show us how it's done!"
Steve: (Malcolm slaps her on the butt)
Shirl: Another fairy with tree trunk sized legs grabbed a gnome with a twig sized leg and off they went on the race track, but it wasn't long before disaster struck as you can imagine....
Steve: One leg snapped off. The other participants in the race, attempting to veer around the severed limb, became entwined in a..
Steve: snack of some kind. Realizing it was only a hot dog, the gnome involved yelled...
Shirl: "where's the bun?...i'm hungry". A scuffle ensued, with fairies and gnomes in a cloud of dust all diving for the hot dog, as they were sick of pancakes. So Lord Malcolm yelled, "Let Them Eat Waffles! Let Them Eat waffles!". They all did a heads-up and ran to the waffle feast, legs still entwined, leaving the dust-stomped hot dog on the racetrack.
Steve: All Dogs Go To Heaven.
Steve: As they chortled in their musings, a fairy descended from the heavens. She barked..
Shirl: in a hacking manner, "I need some fairy dust to put on my pancakes to lighten them"....
Steve: whereupon a slightly larger member of the mythological family, namely a gnome named "Herb" approached from behind a nearby shrub. He farted loudly. Then...
Shirl: asked if he could partake in the "Feast of Pancakes", to which the fairy replied...
Steve: "Only if I can partake of them with you, provided that is, if you could slather my stack with your legendary gnome sauce," she replied coyly. The fairy batted her eyelashes.
Shirl: Herb literally "stepped up to the plate" with that request, and proceeded to dip the nozzle of his gnome sauce onto the stacks of pancakes.
Steve: A shriek erupted from the gathering crowd. "GNOME SAUCE!! GNOME SAUCE!!" Not since the day before yesterday had such an eruption been chronicled. Then, from beyond the horizon there appeared...
Shirl: a hot air balloon filled with more gnomes all drinking and partying and throwing down their empties. Fairies dodged their descent from above, while getting their sticky fairy fingers on....
Steve: a note. One of the fairies looked in astonishment at a note that became adhered to her finger. "It is from the Lord Malcolm!" she cried. "The Lord Malcolm Himself!" All the fairies gathered 'round to hear and see the details of the note which had fallen from above.
Shirl: It read: "There will be a townhall meeting tomorrow evening for all fairies and gnomes to discuss the upcoming 3 legged race. Please provide pancakes for the kingdom and make mine waffles". Signed The Lord Malcolm.
Steve: So the townsfolk all gathered to the town hall for the upcoming three-legged race. Fairies with two legs apiece, and gnomes with only one, centered squarely, would make this an interesting event.
Shirl: one little fairy who had had an accident a few years before in which she lost her leg to an alligator, stood up and asked Lord Malcolm how it was that she would be able to race with one leg, and a gnome with one leg, only adding up to two legs in total, to which Lord Malcolm replied.....
Steve: "Oh just walk it off! In my day, we didn't whine about our so-called disabilities! Now get out there and show us how it's done!"
Steve: (Malcolm slaps her on the butt)
Shirl: Another fairy with tree trunk sized legs grabbed a gnome with a twig sized leg and off they went on the race track, but it wasn't long before disaster struck as you can imagine....
Steve: One leg snapped off. The other participants in the race, attempting to veer around the severed limb, became entwined in a..
Steve: snack of some kind. Realizing it was only a hot dog, the gnome involved yelled...
Shirl: "where's the bun?...i'm hungry". A scuffle ensued, with fairies and gnomes in a cloud of dust all diving for the hot dog, as they were sick of pancakes. So Lord Malcolm yelled, "Let Them Eat Waffles! Let Them Eat waffles!". They all did a heads-up and ran to the waffle feast, legs still entwined, leaving the dust-stomped hot dog on the racetrack.
Steve: All Dogs Go To Heaven.
