An ongoing evolutionary collaborative free-range Atkin's friendly, wardrobe malfunction-free, literary blog. Tastes like chicken, smells like pennies, thinks like Sloths. Hand me your cash, we need an editor.
The Red Mustang
Shirl: The red mustang was ready to go...the driver just as ready...
Steve: to pee his pants as the guy beside him in the matching bucket seat.
Shirl: No, it wasn't another Thelma and Louise, but it was close....they.....
Steve: thought about crossing their legs together to squelch the urine flow, but the driver decided against it, for reason of safety.
Shirl: Could they hold out..or would they take the chance and try and out-run the train...could they do it?
Steve: Pragmatism prevailed, and the Mustang came to a screeching halt, inches from the oncoming train. Lemuel, the driver, yelled...
Shirl: "Whooooaaaaa horsie (mustang)"...it was a whisker away from being a disaster..."that calls for a pee"...they got out and relieved themselves and saw, in the ditch a....
Steve: life-sized cardboard cutout that looked exactly like Ann B. Davis, the housekeeper from the Brady Bunch.
As they hurriedly threw it into the car, a cop arrived on the scene.
Shirl: Ludlow, the passenger, yelled, "Yo Mama!"...as he looked at the cardboard cutout...the cop walked slowly up to the car and asked, "What's up boys?"
Steve: "Ain't nothing but a thaing, officer," Ludlow belched. By that time, it was way too late. The cop recognized them as suspects from a previous episode of AMW. He ordered them out of the car. Ludlow resisted, yelling...
Shirl: "you don't know dick-all 'bout me offishur, get your damn dirty paws off'n me or i'll spit in yer fuzzy cop face"....Lemuel, on the other hand....
Steve: busy masturbating to the cardboard cutout of Ann B. Davis, had to be physically removed from the vehicle. As the assisting cop tried to pull up Lemuel's pants, Ludlow remarked,...
Shirl: (while having to be hog-tied into submission), "Lemuel, I'll get you for that, she was mine, all mine"
Steve: A male voice was heard over the police radio: "I'd rather do Marcia."
Shirl: Ludlow agreed.
Steve: Off in the distance, a dog barked.
Shirl: Ruff
Steve: Hey, ya wanted a short one!
Shirl: lol
Shirl: i was supposed to end it
Shirl: let me think....
Steve: Oh yeah...
Shirl: umm....
Steve: sits..waits..
Shirl: maybe we should just go with yours....lol
Steve: Hey go!
Shirl: to sleep?
Steve: Finish it, ya weirdo!
Shirl: lol
Shirl: umm....
Shirl: the cops realised it was their police dog barking, so they threw the "L" boys back into their car and told them when the next train would be arriving, while pushing the mustang onto the tracks and emptying the gas tank
Shirl: (not an ending yet)
Steve: But wait!
Shirl: hee hee
Shirl: the cops drove off to retrieve their dog and disappeared into the distance
Steve: I can add to that too.
Shirl: ok
Steve: A reggae group appears.. 'bad boys bad boys'...
As if invoking the name of the Devil incarnate, 26 gang-bangers converge on the scene. All with reversed ball caps, some with shirts, none with IQs. A genie emerges from nowhere. He speaks...
Shirl: "Thats a horse of a different color....red huh?...well rub my belly and your wish is my command"...
Steve: As if compelled by a universal force, all gather 'round the genie. Together they reach to rub the belly. With a jerk, the genie bellows...
Shirl: "Careful, i have a few ingrown belly hairs", and with that, a puff of green smoke exploded around his body and he asked, "What is your wish?"
Steve: "A lifetime supply of crack!" said one youth. Another screamed, "Free pussy for the rest of my life." A third quietly genuflected to his knee and quietly asked,...
Shirl: "Can i have that 1969 Mustang?"
Steve: Whereupon the genie became furious! "Don't you know Ford is only an acronym for 'fix or repair daily'? How stupid ARE YOU!!"
Steve: Found on road dead
Steve: Fucked on race day.
Shirl: ..."Since you asked oh Genie...I may be stupid but at least I grovel humbly for things of reality..not like these other jerk-offs who ask for the impossible"...to which the Genie agreed whole-heartedly...and granted him his wish, and squashed the rest of the bad boys except for the "L" boys who were permantly made slaves to care for the mustang for the life of it while the "3rd one" smiles in delight and wins numerous car show awards for at least having the shiniest car. THE END
Shirl: The red mustang was ready to go...the driver just as ready...
Steve: to pee his pants as the guy beside him in the matching bucket seat.
Shirl: No, it wasn't another Thelma and Louise, but it was close....they.....
Steve: thought about crossing their legs together to squelch the urine flow, but the driver decided against it, for reason of safety.
Shirl: Could they hold out..or would they take the chance and try and out-run the train...could they do it?
Steve: Pragmatism prevailed, and the Mustang came to a screeching halt, inches from the oncoming train. Lemuel, the driver, yelled...
Shirl: "Whooooaaaaa horsie (mustang)"...it was a whisker away from being a disaster..."that calls for a pee"...they got out and relieved themselves and saw, in the ditch a....
Steve: life-sized cardboard cutout that looked exactly like Ann B. Davis, the housekeeper from the Brady Bunch.
As they hurriedly threw it into the car, a cop arrived on the scene.
Shirl: Ludlow, the passenger, yelled, "Yo Mama!"...as he looked at the cardboard cutout...the cop walked slowly up to the car and asked, "What's up boys?"
Steve: "Ain't nothing but a thaing, officer," Ludlow belched. By that time, it was way too late. The cop recognized them as suspects from a previous episode of AMW. He ordered them out of the car. Ludlow resisted, yelling...
Shirl: "you don't know dick-all 'bout me offishur, get your damn dirty paws off'n me or i'll spit in yer fuzzy cop face"....Lemuel, on the other hand....
Steve: busy masturbating to the cardboard cutout of Ann B. Davis, had to be physically removed from the vehicle. As the assisting cop tried to pull up Lemuel's pants, Ludlow remarked,...
Shirl: (while having to be hog-tied into submission), "Lemuel, I'll get you for that, she was mine, all mine"
Steve: A male voice was heard over the police radio: "I'd rather do Marcia."
Shirl: Ludlow agreed.
Steve: Off in the distance, a dog barked.
Shirl: Ruff
Steve: Hey, ya wanted a short one!
Shirl: lol
Shirl: i was supposed to end it
Shirl: let me think....
Steve: Oh yeah...
Shirl: umm....
Steve: sits..waits..
Shirl: maybe we should just go with yours....lol
Steve: Hey go!
Shirl: to sleep?
Steve: Finish it, ya weirdo!
Shirl: lol
Shirl: umm....
Shirl: the cops realised it was their police dog barking, so they threw the "L" boys back into their car and told them when the next train would be arriving, while pushing the mustang onto the tracks and emptying the gas tank
Shirl: (not an ending yet)
Steve: But wait!
Shirl: hee hee
Shirl: the cops drove off to retrieve their dog and disappeared into the distance
Steve: I can add to that too.
Shirl: ok
Steve: A reggae group appears.. 'bad boys bad boys'...
As if invoking the name of the Devil incarnate, 26 gang-bangers converge on the scene. All with reversed ball caps, some with shirts, none with IQs. A genie emerges from nowhere. He speaks...Shirl: "Thats a horse of a different color....red huh?...well rub my belly and your wish is my command"...
Steve: As if compelled by a universal force, all gather 'round the genie. Together they reach to rub the belly. With a jerk, the genie bellows...
Shirl: "Careful, i have a few ingrown belly hairs", and with that, a puff of green smoke exploded around his body and he asked, "What is your wish?"
Steve: "A lifetime supply of crack!" said one youth. Another screamed, "Free pussy for the rest of my life." A third quietly genuflected to his knee and quietly asked,...
Shirl: "Can i have that 1969 Mustang?"
Steve: Whereupon the genie became furious! "Don't you know Ford is only an acronym for 'fix or repair daily'? How stupid ARE YOU!!"
Steve: Found on road dead
Steve: Fucked on race day.
Shirl: ..."Since you asked oh Genie...I may be stupid but at least I grovel humbly for things of reality..not like these other jerk-offs who ask for the impossible"...to which the Genie agreed whole-heartedly...and granted him his wish, and squashed the rest of the bad boys except for the "L" boys who were permantly made slaves to care for the mustang for the life of it while the "3rd one" smiles in delight and wins numerous car show awards for at least having the shiniest car. THE END
