An ongoing evolutionary collaborative free-range Atkin's friendly, wardrobe malfunction-free, literary blog. Tastes like chicken, smells like pennies, thinks like Sloths. Hand me your cash, we need an editor.
chapter 1:
A very suspicious package arrived at the Pudding residence...there in lie a secret...as he opened it up he realized .....the latex thing had a smile....a smile no short of a fingernail moon....it was a hermetically sealed balloon for the purposes of unbridled lovemaking or the 31 flavors of Ice cream. It was dark red and very sluttish..one flavor was missing though, it was Lesbian Nipple Citrus flavored, as opposed to juice of da tainted. He winced in the mirror, and thought, what would go better..a bike ride or a handful of afternoon delight with a woman.
Of course the ride won over ......cuz the women evaporated into thin air ..Perhaps it's because he changed the words in his mind since the air seemed rather thin....after the dismount of the Schwinn, he grabbed a porn magazine at the local confection store and hooked up with this woman down the hall at his apartment complex, Betty Bluetooth. She was a notorious skanky hippy who was always masturbating on her door. She was in her mid 50s. She had one blue tooth, hence the name. And a poodle named "Shawing"...who also had a liking for the same door although for relieving itself and by strange coincidence, also had a colored tooth, but not blue, it was hunter green, matching the duvet cover.
He was hungry for attention, yet bored for the domestic details of lovemaking, so he decided to take frometh the glory hole of a wall half full...or half empty...he wasn't sure if he was going to look at it from a point of view of feeling the glory or feeling like he was under the gun...he began to tremble realizing that.....he was more of a voyeur than a gawker. One to observe. He observed little things. the mundane. the things like Betty. She seemed like a rather clever woman, she managed to sequester her life into 3 simple idioms...Pringles & Ramen, dog food for her poodle, and batteries for her vibrator. Since he cunt count and that made four .....he should go and study the frames on da wall ..... they say how clever n smart that he is.
Perhaps it was the idiosyncratic juxtaposition of the gleaming Windex prism off Betty's tooth reminded me of a scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Betty grabbed a box of Cunt Chocula cereal and tossed some into her shit eating grin with the blue plaque-ridden tooth only to realize there was no "toy" inside the cereal box, which only frustrated her to the point of pre-orgasmic cereal killer indigestion primed by Kellogs, Special K, Jay-Z, and Sri Lanka. It is unlikely that Betty liked recycled toenails and belly button link mixed with her favorite beverage which was green with black pits in it flammable too......
A very suspicious package arrived at the Pudding residence...there in lie a secret...as he opened it up he realized .....the latex thing had a smile....a smile no short of a fingernail moon....it was a hermetically sealed balloon for the purposes of unbridled lovemaking or the 31 flavors of Ice cream. It was dark red and very sluttish..one flavor was missing though, it was Lesbian Nipple Citrus flavored, as opposed to juice of da tainted. He winced in the mirror, and thought, what would go better..a bike ride or a handful of afternoon delight with a woman. Of course the ride won over ......cuz the women evaporated into thin air ..Perhaps it's because he changed the words in his mind since the air seemed rather thin....after the dismount of the Schwinn, he grabbed a porn magazine at the local confection store and hooked up with this woman down the hall at his apartment complex, Betty Bluetooth. She was a notorious skanky hippy who was always masturbating on her door. She was in her mid 50s. She had one blue tooth, hence the name. And a poodle named "Shawing"...who also had a liking for the same door although for relieving itself and by strange coincidence, also had a colored tooth, but not blue, it was hunter green, matching the duvet cover. He was hungry for attention, yet bored for the domestic details of lovemaking, so he decided to take frometh the glory hole of a wall half full...or half empty...he wasn't sure if he was going to look at it from a point of view of feeling the glory or feeling like he was under the gun...he began to tremble realizing that.....he was more of a voyeur than a gawker. One to observe. He observed little things. the mundane. the things like Betty. She seemed like a rather clever woman, she managed to sequester her life into 3 simple idioms...Pringles & Ramen, dog food for her poodle, and batteries for her vibrator. Since he cunt count and that made four .....he should go and study the frames on da wall ..... they say how clever n smart that he is. Perhaps it was the idiosyncratic juxtaposition of the gleaming Windex prism off Betty's tooth reminded me of a scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Betty grabbed a box of Cunt Chocula cereal and tossed some into her shit eating grin with the blue plaque-ridden tooth only to realize there was no "toy" inside the cereal box, which only frustrated her to the point of pre-orgasmic cereal killer indigestion primed by Kellogs, Special K, Jay-Z, and Sri Lanka. It is unlikely that Betty liked recycled toenails and belly button link mixed with her favorite beverage which was green with black pits in it flammable too......
