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Les Miserables Part Douche
Steve: Ok.. so there were these two lesbians walking down the street, and one turned to the other and said...
Shirl: "Holy shit...what the?....go to University?...i think not"...but ...
Steve: then the other whipped out her portable GPS. Staring at the display, she seemed confounded. Suddenly, there appeared...
Shirl: a hobbit with a laptop..."Let's plot your gps course from yesterday on here"....she took her milkshake and threw it at his keyboard to which he....
Steve: hollered a resounding "NO!" and resumed his hobbit activities, whatever they were.
Shirl: Then other lesbo stated, "But sanctify the Lord God in your heart and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you", and she took her to the University of Grand Junction where Professor Moser taught the finer philosophies of.....
Steve: threading kite string onto large treadles to be used as tow ropes. Although Professor Moser knew that instruction in such a manner was so much folly, he also knew it could keep lesbians busy for hours on end.
Shirl: Not to think of the uses it could have with tethering hot air balloons, but just not as yet known to them of the industry it could encompass, he kept them whiling away the hours until their lesbo hands were worn thin by the ropes (rope burn). They decided that both of them need not attend class anymore as only one was registered, so they....
Steve: absconded with two of the towing ropes that they managed to complete. Heading out the front door of the college with their ropes neatly (?) concealed, they ran into a man with a sly grin. He said...
Shirl: "Ever pissed up a rope?". They grimaced...and gave him "one" in the nads...and continued on their way to their destination....
Steve: which was the local sewage treatment plant. Looking at each other, Pat (les#1) said to Becky (les#2), .........
Shirl: "Remember when it got so cold this sewage actually froze?"...and Becky answered...
Steve: "Yes, but I'm not thirsty now." Pat replied, "God dammit, just keep moving." So on they went until they stumbled into a large...
Shirl: hippopotamus, mulching on some sort of cane product...which caused it to have a horrific toothache. A twinkle sparkled in Becky's eye as she looked at their ropes....
Steve: and said "Shit.. it was ICE SKATES.. ICE SKATES, I should have had back there."
Shirl: Pat grabbed the end of the rope and tied it snuggly around the tooth of the hippo and together they grabbed the other end and pulled...
Steve: Out popped a dazed and confused Jimmy Hoffa.
Shirl: Oh my goodness, they had pulled the hippo's tail by mistake, and yes, out popped Jimmy Hoffa from the hippo's ass, man!...he was covered in a slick slime but thanks to his rubber suit and undersea oxygen helmet and coal miner's light and a supply of Reader's Digests, he....
Steve: leapt into a nearby hot-air balloon. Luckily the balloon, sponsored by the Republican party, was so full of hot air that...
Shirl: a propane burner was not necessary....up, up, up, he went and to this day it is not known where he is. The two lesbians continued on...
Steve: to a nearby Taco Bell restaurant. Hungry, with no money, and eyeing the counter person, they whispered amongst themselves. After a brief discussion, they launched their plan...
Shirl: They tied up the counter person and 2 patrons sitting at a table with the remaining rope, they took a supply of tacos, left the restaurant and hailed a cab, jumped in and....
Steve: Pat held her left breast to the cabbie's head, shrieking, "TAKE US WHERE WE WANT TO GO OR ELSE THIS THING GOES OFF!" Terrified, the cabbie drove them to...
Shirl: a film company where Tom Cruise was sitting outside a cafe on the grounds sipping a cappachino....
Steve: laced with ecstasy. It was slipped into his drink surrepititiously, and he was just coming on to it. As Tom saw the girls, he beckoned them to come and sit at his table.
Shirl: "Is one of you named Nicole, I think I remember someone by that name"....to which Becky responded...
Steve: "Don't kid, man." They all laughed.
Steve: Ok.. so there were these two lesbians walking down the street, and one turned to the other and said...
Shirl: "Holy shit...what the?....go to University?...i think not"...but ...
Steve: then the other whipped out her portable GPS. Staring at the display, she seemed confounded. Suddenly, there appeared...
Shirl: a hobbit with a laptop..."Let's plot your gps course from yesterday on here"....she took her milkshake and threw it at his keyboard to which he....
Steve: hollered a resounding "NO!" and resumed his hobbit activities, whatever they were.
Shirl: Then other lesbo stated, "But sanctify the Lord God in your heart and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you", and she took her to the University of Grand Junction where Professor Moser taught the finer philosophies of.....
Steve: threading kite string onto large treadles to be used as tow ropes. Although Professor Moser knew that instruction in such a manner was so much folly, he also knew it could keep lesbians busy for hours on end.
Shirl: Not to think of the uses it could have with tethering hot air balloons, but just not as yet known to them of the industry it could encompass, he kept them whiling away the hours until their lesbo hands were worn thin by the ropes (rope burn). They decided that both of them need not attend class anymore as only one was registered, so they....
Steve: absconded with two of the towing ropes that they managed to complete. Heading out the front door of the college with their ropes neatly (?) concealed, they ran into a man with a sly grin. He said...
Shirl: "Ever pissed up a rope?". They grimaced...and gave him "one" in the nads...and continued on their way to their destination....
Steve: which was the local sewage treatment plant. Looking at each other, Pat (les#1) said to Becky (les#2), .........
Shirl: "Remember when it got so cold this sewage actually froze?"...and Becky answered...
Steve: "Yes, but I'm not thirsty now." Pat replied, "God dammit, just keep moving." So on they went until they stumbled into a large...
Shirl: hippopotamus, mulching on some sort of cane product...which caused it to have a horrific toothache. A twinkle sparkled in Becky's eye as she looked at their ropes....
Steve: and said "Shit.. it was ICE SKATES.. ICE SKATES, I should have had back there."
Shirl: Pat grabbed the end of the rope and tied it snuggly around the tooth of the hippo and together they grabbed the other end and pulled...
Steve: Out popped a dazed and confused Jimmy Hoffa.
Shirl: Oh my goodness, they had pulled the hippo's tail by mistake, and yes, out popped Jimmy Hoffa from the hippo's ass, man!...he was covered in a slick slime but thanks to his rubber suit and undersea oxygen helmet and coal miner's light and a supply of Reader's Digests, he....
Steve: leapt into a nearby hot-air balloon. Luckily the balloon, sponsored by the Republican party, was so full of hot air that...
Shirl: a propane burner was not necessary....up, up, up, he went and to this day it is not known where he is. The two lesbians continued on...
Steve: to a nearby Taco Bell restaurant. Hungry, with no money, and eyeing the counter person, they whispered amongst themselves. After a brief discussion, they launched their plan...
Shirl: They tied up the counter person and 2 patrons sitting at a table with the remaining rope, they took a supply of tacos, left the restaurant and hailed a cab, jumped in and....
Steve: Pat held her left breast to the cabbie's head, shrieking, "TAKE US WHERE WE WANT TO GO OR ELSE THIS THING GOES OFF!" Terrified, the cabbie drove them to...
Shirl: a film company where Tom Cruise was sitting outside a cafe on the grounds sipping a cappachino....
Steve: laced with ecstasy. It was slipped into his drink surrepititiously, and he was just coming on to it. As Tom saw the girls, he beckoned them to come and sit at his table.
Shirl: "Is one of you named Nicole, I think I remember someone by that name"....to which Becky responded...
Steve: "Don't kid, man." They all laughed.
